An Interview with Juanda Lee De Shazer
Recently I visited Juanda to interview her about how she has coped with her chronic pain all these years. At age 91, she has had chronic pain for more than half her life time.
Here is part 1 of what we talked about.
Juanda greeted me with a smile and a hug, offering me tea. After several months of health challenges she was doing well when I visited, and she enjoyed both talking and listening, and laughing.
The maxim Juanda lives by these days, as she had e-mailed me recently, is AAA: attitude, accept and adapt.
Attitude
“Having a good attitude in life is key, and laughing as often as I can has been one way of keeping a positive attitude”. Juanda clarified that she is talking about a “good belly laugh”. She learned about the healing power of laughter when she read Norman Cousin’s book “Anatomy Of An Illness” many years ago. Neither of us could remember at that moment what he healed himself from, but we remembered the message: Laugh. (Here are two quotes by him from Wikipedia: “I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep,” he reported. “When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval.”)
When anyone asks Juanda “how are you?” on a bad day, she’ll reply with: “tell me a good joke”. She added: “that is valuable brain programing!” She told me that she records comedy news shows and other funny TV fare, so she can laugh every day. She also frequently sends and receives jokes via e-mail. More than anything she does not take herself entirely seriously. You might guess that we did some laughing during the interview as well!
Another way of maintaining a positive attitude for Juanda is to consciously record what she is thankful for. This began as part of a pain group, when members were asked to share daily posts on gratefulness. She noted how helpful writing these e-mail messages was to her. Juanda feels strongly that writing out whole thoughtful sentences about what she is thankful for, rather than writing down a single word or two, helps the brain to assimilate the information for healing. She noted: “This is another way of reprograming the brain!”
Juanda was injured when she was only in her late 30s, which means that she has lived with chronic pain for the past 55 years (nearly my own lifetime). Despite constant pain, Juanda has always stayed active. Professionally, she managed a number of rentals and had an antique booth.
She also served on several boards for non-profit agencies that worked with both youths and the elders. She has participated in a number of pain groups, and helped co-facilitate one, as she is quick to jump in and help when that is needed. ( As few weeks later Juanda tells me that she will attend the city council meeting to speak for others of her homeowners association who cannot get there). She has also been a member of other interest groups, enjoying writing and painting, and learning in general. “Learn something new every day” is her advice, and it clearly has kept her mind agile and sharp.
Accept
Juanda talked about not carrying anger about her injury, which happened at work. After a few difficult years, and once she was able to settle insurance claims, she let go of these feelings. She has had a good working relationship with all her medical providers, making the effort to get to know and engage them, often playfully and with a joke. Following advice of Norman Cousins, she feels that she needs to be a team player with her doctors. She also keeps a journal of her condition so that she can be a good advocate for herself. This has paid off over many years, and she feels she has received good care, which has also included other modalities like physical therapy, acupuncture, and professional massage.
Juanda said that “pain is manageable, with our attitude, with our brains we can do well without any drugs (medications)”. “I discovered during a severe pain period which lasted six months, that I was a victim of fear about the discomfort I was feeling”. “There was a lightbulb moment that helped me to actively overcome the fear, which led to a major improvement in dealing with my pain”. Juanda had heard a speech about making friends with pain, and both thinking about this concept plus experiencing the more relaxed physical results trying it out, it became clear that she was on to something! With this attitude change, the “fear complex” left, and she says: “the brain began accepting any pain as a friend, which ultimately resulted in having a matter-of-fact attitude whenever there was a pain level increase”. It made sense to practice this attitude in order to cope. It certainly did not happen overnight, but with routine attitude practice and working with gratefulness it has become a skill. She says, her quality of life improved and coping became much easier. Juanda feels that 90% of her pain had been caused by fear.
Adapt
When I first met her, Juanda was in her early 60s. She was a great inspiration as she would tell me stories of how she carries a big pillow and would simply lie down in movie theaters and meetings, when her pain became too intrusive. She laughingly recalls one meeting:” I was lying on the floor on my pillow and raised my hand to comment, and the facilitator said drily: “we have a motion from the floor”.”
I followed Juanda’s example after I had my own back injury. I spent many hours on the floor during the day–long weekly lectures, which allowed me to finish my social work masters degree .
Pain never kept Juanda from at least trying to do what she wanted to do. I also remember her showing up with her cane, which had a flip-out seat attached, to rest on while out and about. Back then she also had season tickets at a theater. She would get a seat next to the wall, and stand next to her seat leaning against the wall for pain relief.
And she would always keep going, using physical therapy, massage and swimming to keep her mobile, even in the past two years. Junada recalls: “ I was able to dance at my 80th birthday celebration after my second hip replacement”. She added that she had worked hard with physical therapy before and after the surgery to achieve that.
Watch for part 2 of this interview.